HOW TO FORM AND MAINTAIN RELATIONSHIPS


by Yusuff Ademola Adesina
Editor: Sherif Tanimola
‘And the Day the wrongdoer will bite on his hands[in regret]he will say, ‘Oh, I wish I had taken with the Messenger a way. Oh, woe to me! I wish I had not taken that one as a friend.  He led me away from the remembrance after it had come to me…’ (Q25: 27-29)

According to Merriam Webster Dictionary, relationship means the way in which two or more people, groups, countries, etc., talk to, behave toward, and deal with each other. Islam as a religion emphasizes the importance of relationship which cut-across a broad spectrum of areas including family, friendship, and good neighbourliness.

Many types of relationships have been identified in previous writings of others; among them are friendship, family, romantic, and professional relationships. However, in this article, we shall limit our discussion to forming and maintaining family and friendship relationships.

Forming and Maintaining Family Relationship

Islam is a complete way of life which considers the family as the cornerstone of Islamic society. It anchors the atmosphere in the family on sacrifice, love, loyalty, and obedience. Islam organizes family relationships based on husband-wife relationship and parent-children relationship. Family relationship in accordance with the Quran and Sunnah is the one formed on the following discussion.

Family relationship should be formed based on a common goal. The common goal I’m talking about here is the purpose of our creation. Relationship will be meaningless and has no value without spirituality. Allah says in (Q51:56): ‘And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me.’ Couples who share the same goal are likely to grow and stay together, and perhaps, a family divided in goal will not grow. This is why Islam discourages Muslims from marrying idolaters and atheists. It strongly recommends marriage to believing Muslims. (See Q2:221)

Family relationship should be formed based on justice and commitment. What is meant here is that parents and children have duties and rights over one another. Leaders and the led have theirs. Duty neglected is right denied, and denial of legal right is injustice and oppression which has devastating consequences. Therefore, family relationship should be formed based on justice, each spouse carrying out his/her duties, and children doing theirs.

Family relationship should be built on cooperation. Allah says: ‘They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them...’ (Q2:187) Members should be ready to protect, beautify, comfort, defend and complement one another. Another basic foundation of family relationship is mutual love, care and trust. Allah says: ‘And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.’ (Q30:21) The Prophet (PBUH) said, ‘The best among you are those who are best to their families. I am the best of you to my family.’ (Tirmidhi, 3892).

Family in Islam refers to those who are related by blood and marriage. They are those who cannot marry one another because of blood affinity or marital relations. They are those who can inherit one another. It is an obligation in Islam to maintain ties of kinship even if the kin are not Muslims. Allah says: ‘So give the relative his right, as well as the needy and the traveller. That is best for those who desire the face [approval] of Allah, and it is they who will be the successful.’ (Q30:38) To show the seriousness of Islam in maintaining family relationships, the Prophet (PBUH) said, ‘Anyone who breaks the ties of kinship will not enter Paradise.’ (Sahih Muslim). The following are some of the ways to maintain relationships with the family members:

1.       Love them and pray for them.

2.      Console them in times of sorrow and rejoice with them in times of joy.

3.      Take practical steps to remove their difficulty.

4.      Spend for them if they lack and give them gifts even if they have.         

5.      Resolve disputes that ensue between them.

6.      Be adamant on keeping the ties even if they boycott you.

7.      Correct them if they indulge in wrongful acts and invite them to Islam if they are not Muslims. 

Forming and Maintaining Friendship Relationships

Friends are an integral and important part of life as they contribute greatly to what a person makes of his or her life. This is the reason why Islam also speaks about friendship. Islam acknowledges the importance of friends in one’s life. Therefore, it emphasizes the selection of righteous friends. Thus, it’s important to form friendship relationship that will be pleasing to Allah.

Forming friendship in accordance with the Quran should be based on the verse wherein Allah says: ‘The believing men and believing women are allies of one another.They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and establish prayer and give zakah, and obey Allah and His Messenger. Those – Allah will have mercy upon them. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.’ (Q9:71).

Friendship relationship should be formed based on sincere love for each other. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said, ‘There are seven persons whom Allah will shade on a Day when there will be no shade but His…two persons who love each other, meet and depart from each other for the sake of Allah…” (SahihBukhari).

It is the one formed with a pious companion. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said, ‘The similitude of a good companion is like an owner of musk; if you don't get anything, you will get the smell of it…’ And, Allah says: ‘...close friends, that Day, will be enemies to each other, except for the righteous.’ (Q43:67)

Friendship relationship can be maintained by having common goals, enjoining each other to righteousness, forbidding evil deeds, reminding each other about Allah, praying for each other, trusting each other, fulfilling  promise, not telling lies, consoling each other in times of  sorrow and so on.

In conclusion, Islam provides complete guidelines for forming and maintaining relationships in such a way as to benefit the members in this world and Aakhirah (the hereafter). Indeed, there is nothing that borders around human life that Islam is silent on.

Comments

  1. Humblehamidah7 June 2018 at 10:01

    Hnmm, Maa sha Allah. This is beneficial. Jazaakallah khairan.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mind Builders11 June 2018 at 14:28

      Thank you for reading. Aamiyn waant fajazaakil-Laah khayran

      Delete

Post a Comment

The Mind Builders

Telephone & WhatsApp: +2348132522291

Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/TheMindBuildersTMB/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themindbuilders/The

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MindBuildersTMB


Email: themindbuildersteam@gmail.com

Contact Form

Name

Email *

Message *

Popular posts from this blog

ABOUT US: THE MIND BUILDERS

Image
About Us The Mind Builders is the brainchild of Yusuff Ademola Adesina who is a graduate of Psychology and presently pursuing the Degree of (Doctor of Optometry) at Bayero University Kano. The team consists of members who are university graduates and undergraduates studying in different fields of education. Mission : The mission of the team is to:   ➢ Engage and develop diverse young people to positively impact the world.    ➢ Promote open youth-to-youth communication.  ➢ Enhance leadership development among young people.   ➢ Foster multicultural bridge building.    ➢ Empower youth with self-actualization skills.   Execution of Mission : The team will engage in different activities to attain its mission. These activities, however, are categorized into two: short-term and long-term execution plans.     Short-Term Execution    ➢ Writing articles related to youth development by interested volunteer writers.    ➢ Periodic online coalition meeting to explore educational, p
Read more

POSITION OF THE LAW ON THE USE OF HIJAB: A CASE STUDY OF A NIGERIAN MUSLIM FEMALE DENIED BEING CALLED TO THE BAR

Image
by O. G. Chukkol One of the challenges Muslim females are facing is the wearing of hijab. Hijab is a veil they use in covering their body. These challenges are found even in public institutions. The proscription of the use of veils is normally done through rules made in those institutions. For example there has been complaint that hijab is not allowed in Nigerian Law School, it happened also in Kwara, Lagos, Osun State etc where students were not allowed to wear hijab to schools. This article seeks to establish that prohibiting Muslim females from wearing veils in public institutions is unconstitutional. Whether the position is the same in private institutions or not is outside the scope of this article. To clear a preliminary point, I am a Christian and shall by the grace of God die a Christian. This work is based on my little understanding of the law and love for rule of law. The work is also informed by my agreement with the words of Martin Luther King Jr. who once said:
Read more

THE VALUE OF POSITIVE SELF-ESTEEM

Image
Authored by Munirah Abdullah (D_Dignified_Muslimah) Our self-esteem is instilled in us during our youth. Being constantly criticized by family,friends, and society tends to slowly strip us of our feelings of self worth. Our low self esteem strips us of our self confidence to make even the smallest of decisions. Improving our self esteem increases our confidence and it is the first step towards finding happiness and a better life. Self-esteem is known as an attitude toward the self and is similar to a judgment of oneself. It means to reflect a person’s overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own strength and weaknesses. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs and emotions. It is self esteem that provokes the feelings of triumph, despair, pride and shame. The self-concept is what we think about the self. Self-esteem on the other hand, is the positive or negative evaluations of the self, is how we feel about it. It is the quality (positive or negative) that renders somet
Read more

HOW TO DEAL WITH DIVORCE & BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS

Image
by Munirah Abdullah (d_dignified_Muslimah) Editor: Tanimola Sherif Merriam Webster defines the word ‘Divorce’ as ‘to dissolve the marriage of (a spouse) by judgment or decree of divorce’. The word shockingly sinks into my brain each time I meet a new friend or a stranger and get to discover, after getting affectionately glued to each other, that his/her parents are divorced. To be honest I hardly see that glimpse of happiness in their eyes. It is far removed from the feelings that will naturally envelope one when one hears of his mum being delivered of a baby, or the news of a wedding ceremony. The countenance and expression on their faces appear stale like ‘it happens, that's life’. In this era of gigantic world civilization compounded by feminism, women tend to perceive themselves as being equal to men, regurgitating expressions such as ‘what a man can do, a woman can do better.’ This has undoubtedly made the percentage of divorced people to be astronomically high. Alth
Read more

WHY DOES ISLAM OPPRESS WOMEN?

Image
TECHNICAL RELIGIOUS BIGOTRY MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT ISLAM (Episode 1): WHY DOES ISLAM OPPRESS WOMEN? by Yusuff Ademola A. The word ‘Islam’ has been negatively associated with terrorism, violence, aggression, extremism, hardships, deprivation, and imprisonment in these present times. This negative view has been strengthened by the actions of terrorists and ‘orientalists’, who in no way represent the true essence of the religion.   They have hijacked the religion and consequent media attention for their own selfish, evil goals. Hence, the global opinion tends towards viewing Islam as a terroristic and extremist religion. Most of the times, you would see people arguing that Islam oppresses women; it permits men to marry more than one woman and commands women to use Hijaab. Alternatively, they would claim Islam legalises baseless killing of innocent people – by the way of religious enforcement or apostasy. However, are these really true about Islam?   Does Islam really oppress
Read more

MARRIAGE: THE TRAGEDY OF MARITAL ABUSE

Image
Yusuff Ademola Adesina ( adesinayusuffademola@gmail.com ) The history of human society is nothing but the description of the evolution and diffusion of various institutions designed toward perpetuation, maintenance and survival of society. Marriage institution occupies a unique place in the realm of institutions. It is instrumental in perpetuating human society through regulations of conjugal and filial ties. Marriage is as old as creation of the world. Hence it is no doubt that marriage exists in virtually every known society.  There is a growing consensus among researchers that marriage is an important institution. Families built on marriage are, on average, healthier, wealthier and more stable than other familial forms. On this account, it was concluded from a series of evidence         that marriage is an important social good, associated with an impressively broad array of positive outcomes for children and adults alike. However, despite the fact that marriage is a h
Read more

HOW TO WRITE AN EXCELLENT RESEARCH PAPER: STEP-BY-STEP GUIDELINE

Image
A research paper is a comprehensive academic essay that students are required to submit before the end of each semester. This assignment is an amalgamation of the student’s total learning and attempts to test their understanding of an academic course from all possible angles. It is designed to test one’s ability to research, collect information, write, compile, analyze and interpret a topic. No matter what field of study you are in, you will mostly like be asked to write a research paper during your academic career. It is an integral component of your academic evaluation; which will definitely require you to do some kind of research for one subject or another. Unfortunately, the knowledge of research writing has slipped into oblivion for many students. They show excessive consternation whenever they are given assignments, and consider it a burden and a tiresome task because it requires a significant amount of time, effort and organization. On account of all above, this book is compi
Read more

WHY DOES ISLAM COMMAND KILLING OF INNOCENT PEOPLE?

Image
MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT ISLAM (Episode 2): WHY DOES ISLAM COMMAND KILLING OF INNOCENT PEOPLE? By Yusuff Ademola Adesina It saddens my heart to hear my religion- the religion of the whole mankind, Islam- being ostracized in various forms by people around me. Last week, a full bearded man sporting a jumper trouser jumped a queue at the bank I was at, then a misinformed lady beside me commented, “hmmm. all the ‘mallam’. They are Muslims. If you dare correct them for jumping queues, they will massacre you!” Upon hearing this, I was heatedly ruminating about several questions running through my mind ready to pour out. However, not to be a vested party, I want us to continue addressing the issues surrounding misconceptions about Islam, the social stereotype etc. By the way, it should be borne in mind at this junction that not all ‘muslims’ are Muslims . We have factors such as culture, personality, social definition and so on, having great bearing on the type of Muslim they are, be it
Read more

THE CHARACTERISTICS OF A CLASSICAL, STRIVING MUSLIM

Image
by Yusuff Ademola Adesina In the present century wherein the world morality has turned on its head, the characteristics of a true Muslim as defined in the orthodox teachings of his religion (Islam) can be likened to an oasis in the desert. It is the only place where trees grow in the desert and the sight of which gives a sense of pleasure and an air of inviting hospitality to the desert travelers. The character of a striving Muslim is distinct and balanced, because he is the embodiment of the illustrious guidance of Allah, drinking deeply from its pure spring and following the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (SAW). Hence, it is no surprise that a Muslim is expected to be an epitome of all good character as the Prophet (SAW) said he was sent to perfect noble character traits. However, many Muslims are negligent of the ‘Muslim Personality’ as Islam has wisely deemed it to be. Sadly, there exists a lacuna between what Islam wants for its followers and what they actually want
Read more

5 Simple Ways to Become Productive and Successful

Image
by Yusuff Ademola A. Virtually everyone is most concerned about success. However, not everyone can succeed except those who know the secrets behind success! The ponderous contributor to success is nothing but PRODUCTIVITY. This is the reason numerous writers and readers are obsessed with the topic ‘Productivity’.   In this digital age, staying on task and avoiding distraction have become harder to accomplish. Therefore, it is essential that you get a guide towards achieving productivity in your everyday tasks. Here are 5 simple ways to become more productive and successful: 1.       Focus on yourself in the morning : Many people begin their day by checking their emails and other social accounts. Be careful of this, perhaps it is a big productivity killer. Start your day with spiritually productive activities – if you are a Muslim, observe the Fajr Prayer and recite the morning Sunnah adhkaar; these are true stress relievers and energy boosters which never fail to make you feel b
Read more