THE VALUE OF POSITIVE SELF-ESTEEM


Authored by Munirah Abdullah (D_Dignified_Muslimah)
Our self-esteem is instilled in us during our youth. Being constantly criticized by family,friends, and society tends to slowly strip us of our feelings of self worth. Our low self esteem strips us of our self confidence to make even the smallest of decisions.

Improving our self esteem increases our confidence and it is the first step towards finding happiness and a better life.

Self-esteem is known as an attitude toward the self and is similar to a judgment of oneself. It means to reflect a person’s overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own strength and weaknesses.

Self-esteem encompasses beliefs and emotions. It is self esteem that provokes the feelings of triumph, despair, pride and shame. The self-concept is what we think about the self. Self-esteem on the other hand, is the positive or negative evaluations of the self, is how we feel about it.

It is the quality (positive or negative) that renders something desirable or valuabe, characterized by constructiveness or influence for the better. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection, this is the value of a positive self-esteem to one's self.

Self Esteem And Tawakkul (Reliance upon Allaah)

Tawakkul means to depend sincerely in one’s heart upon Allaah Almighty, for bringing blessings and warding off harms, for this world and the hereafter.

As  Muslims, we can not talk about self esteem without talking about tawakkul. Tawakkul is very important for self esteem  in Islam. Islam is the concept of one’s absolute confidence and trust in Allaah, believing and knowing that nothing can happen to us or hurt us unless it is by Will of Allaah – The Almighty.

The Qur’aan addressed the Muslims specifically:

“[Then] when you have decided on a course of action, put your trust in Allah: Allah loves those who put their trust in Him. If Allah helps you [believers], no one can overcome you. if he forsakes you, who else can help you? Believers should put their trust in Allah. [Q3: 159-160]”

Again Allaah asserts:

“Say: Only what Allah has decreed will happen to us. He is Our Master: let the believers put their trust in Allah.[Q9:51] ”

Self-esteem plays an important role in self identity . It can affect the dimensions of our whole life. Trust in Allah and self esteem is shown in a beautiful Hadeeth Qudsi:

“Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: Allah the Exalted said: O son of Adam, if you call upon me and place your hope in me, I will forgive you without any reservation. O son of Adam, if you have sins piling up to the clouds and then ask for my forgiveness, I will forgive you without any reservation. O son of Adam, if you come to me with enough sins to fill the earth and you meet me without associating a partner with me, I will come to you with enough forgiveness to fill the earth.”(Sunan At-Tirmidhi 3540, Grade: Sahih.)

Islam teaches us to maintain a state of balance in every aspect of our life. Neither should we think low of our self nor should we become arrogant in our life. Both arrogance and low self-esteem are considered two sides of the same coin; the coins of extremists, since both results from an imbalance in our life style as both are the extreme conditions. So we should develop a state of balance in our life have strong belief on the will of Allah.

How to Value a Positive Self-Esteem

Confidence

Self confidence can be gained by making yourself comfortable in your life. You can follow few or more steps to develop self esteem and be confident in your life without being arrogant.

  1. Dress Neatly

You should not be extravagant in your clothing, but rather you should dress in a way that makes you feel comfortable. Do not spend too much on your clothing, but buy selected clothes that you think will look good enough on you.

“Certainly He (Allaah) likes not the extravagant.” (Q7:31)

When you are comfortable in your clothes this will definitely develop a feeling of self confidence which pave way for positive self-esteem You will feel good to meet people and value yourself before anyone does.

In short, your dressing depicts your personality. Surely when you are neat and tidy it will make it easy to picture the value of being positive self-esteem.

  1. Inhale confidence and exhale doubt

As a human, do not be distracted by previous difficult experiences and past failures, because it spoils the little efforts you are putting together and make you look down on what you have achieved of success.

  1. Controlling one’s behaviour and actions

Controlling one’s behaviour and actions is something that the Muslim can do and it is within his capabilities. Part of tis is anger; human should have a positive self-esteem that he is able, with the help of his Lord, to rid himself of the evils and bad effects of anger and strive to mend his ways and discipline himself to adhere to the laws of Allah. This is something that is very easy indeed for the one who wants to achieve it, so long as he has a great deal of resolve to complete what he wants to achieve of disciplining himself and purifying his soul.

  1. Be positive

Remove your Negative self-esteem; start from within; ignore any and alldestructive criticism or insults, including any from your past. Your opinion of yourself is the most important opinion of all, because you know yourself better than anyone else. Many of us have been hurt by others at some time. It is crucial not to internalize that abuse and let them continue to hurt us, because that means the other person wins. If we let go of the past, ignore hurtful negativity and make ourselves happy, then we win.

  1. Daily To Do

Create daily affirmations. Make a list of all the things you like about yourself and another for things you can work on. Thank Allaah for all He has done for you and start with small steps to gain confidence. Take small steps and make small choices to gain confidence in your ability to make a decision.

Do not always try to please everyone. It is great to be considerate of others, but think before sacrificing your own needs to please them. Bending over backwards for strangers, mere acquaintances or people you do not trust may leave you with the short end of the stick. In short, do not allow yourself to be used.

  1. Be your own person

 Do not try to copy anyone else. You will be at your best when you are being yourself because of your uniqueness. Strive to be your best and do not criticize yourself if you fall short of your expectations.




7.       Avoid negative people

 People who have a negative attitude which may rub off on you are not good for you. If you are timid, loud and aggressive people are probably not good for you, and vice versa. Whatever you do, do not compare yourself to others. Just be the best that you can be.

8.       Notice Your Progress

Keep track of what you achieve. To keep your motivation up, and to continue to grow your confidence, keep track of your achievements. Over time, you can see your abilities growing and your comfort zone expanding. If you write down your achievements you can tell yourself how much you have achieved in past and how you can struggle hard to achieve more.When you see this pattern repeating in different areas of your life – little steps gradually leading you to greater self-confidence, and greater achievements – it helps you to face new situations.

It is important that you should not do this for boosting, these listings of your achievements should be just to bug up your positive self esteem .

9.       Learn to appreciate yourself

Everyone has strengths, weaknesses, habits, and principles that define who you are and can make you distinctive. Spend more time focusing on the qualities about yourself that you like and that are praiseworthy.

10.   Reward

Reward yourself when you succeed. Treat yourself to something nice in the glow of your successes.      Believe in yourself as a Musim and others will also believe and trust in you. The best thing you can reward yourself with is an extra prostration (SujÅ«d)in front of your Lord.

Start Having a Positive self-esteem as from today and be happy doing it.

Munirah Oyiza Abdullahi (D_Dignified_Muslimah) is an undergraduate student at the University of Ilorin, studying Agricultural science. A humanitarian Activist.

“At the very beginning of my creative life, I loved humanity. I wanted to do something good for mankind and am still trying to create the path.” (Munirah)

Comments

Post a Comment

The Mind Builders

Telephone & WhatsApp: +2348132522291

Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/TheMindBuildersTMB/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themindbuilders/The

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MindBuildersTMB


Email: themindbuildersteam@gmail.com

Contact Form

Name

Email *

Message *

Popular posts from this blog

ABOUT US: THE MIND BUILDERS

Image
About Us The Mind Builders is the brainchild of Yusuff Ademola Adesina who is a graduate of Psychology and presently pursuing the Degree of (Doctor of Optometry) at Bayero University Kano. The team consists of members who are university graduates and undergraduates studying in different fields of education. Mission : The mission of the team is to:   ➢ Engage and develop diverse young people to positively impact the world.    ➢ Promote open youth-to-youth communication.  ➢ Enhance leadership development among young people.   ➢ Foster multicultural bridge building.    ➢ Empower youth with self-actualization skills.   Execution of Mission : The team will engage in different activities to attain its mission. These activities, however, are categorized into two: short-term and long-term execution plans.     Short-Term Execution    ➢ Writing articles related to youth development by interested volunteer writers.    ➢ Periodic online coalition meeting to explore educational, p
Read more

POSITION OF THE LAW ON THE USE OF HIJAB: A CASE STUDY OF A NIGERIAN MUSLIM FEMALE DENIED BEING CALLED TO THE BAR

Image
by O. G. Chukkol One of the challenges Muslim females are facing is the wearing of hijab. Hijab is a veil they use in covering their body. These challenges are found even in public institutions. The proscription of the use of veils is normally done through rules made in those institutions. For example there has been complaint that hijab is not allowed in Nigerian Law School, it happened also in Kwara, Lagos, Osun State etc where students were not allowed to wear hijab to schools. This article seeks to establish that prohibiting Muslim females from wearing veils in public institutions is unconstitutional. Whether the position is the same in private institutions or not is outside the scope of this article. To clear a preliminary point, I am a Christian and shall by the grace of God die a Christian. This work is based on my little understanding of the law and love for rule of law. The work is also informed by my agreement with the words of Martin Luther King Jr. who once said:
Read more

HOW TO DEAL WITH DIVORCE & BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS

Image
by Munirah Abdullah (d_dignified_Muslimah) Editor: Tanimola Sherif Merriam Webster defines the word ‘Divorce’ as ‘to dissolve the marriage of (a spouse) by judgment or decree of divorce’. The word shockingly sinks into my brain each time I meet a new friend or a stranger and get to discover, after getting affectionately glued to each other, that his/her parents are divorced. To be honest I hardly see that glimpse of happiness in their eyes. It is far removed from the feelings that will naturally envelope one when one hears of his mum being delivered of a baby, or the news of a wedding ceremony. The countenance and expression on their faces appear stale like ‘it happens, that's life’. In this era of gigantic world civilization compounded by feminism, women tend to perceive themselves as being equal to men, regurgitating expressions such as ‘what a man can do, a woman can do better.’ This has undoubtedly made the percentage of divorced people to be astronomically high. Alth
Read more

WHY DOES ISLAM OPPRESS WOMEN?

Image
TECHNICAL RELIGIOUS BIGOTRY MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT ISLAM (Episode 1): WHY DOES ISLAM OPPRESS WOMEN? by Yusuff Ademola A. The word ‘Islam’ has been negatively associated with terrorism, violence, aggression, extremism, hardships, deprivation, and imprisonment in these present times. This negative view has been strengthened by the actions of terrorists and ‘orientalists’, who in no way represent the true essence of the religion.   They have hijacked the religion and consequent media attention for their own selfish, evil goals. Hence, the global opinion tends towards viewing Islam as a terroristic and extremist religion. Most of the times, you would see people arguing that Islam oppresses women; it permits men to marry more than one woman and commands women to use Hijaab. Alternatively, they would claim Islam legalises baseless killing of innocent people – by the way of religious enforcement or apostasy. However, are these really true about Islam?   Does Islam really oppress
Read more

MARRIAGE: THE TRAGEDY OF MARITAL ABUSE

Image
Yusuff Ademola Adesina ( adesinayusuffademola@gmail.com ) The history of human society is nothing but the description of the evolution and diffusion of various institutions designed toward perpetuation, maintenance and survival of society. Marriage institution occupies a unique place in the realm of institutions. It is instrumental in perpetuating human society through regulations of conjugal and filial ties. Marriage is as old as creation of the world. Hence it is no doubt that marriage exists in virtually every known society.  There is a growing consensus among researchers that marriage is an important institution. Families built on marriage are, on average, healthier, wealthier and more stable than other familial forms. On this account, it was concluded from a series of evidence         that marriage is an important social good, associated with an impressively broad array of positive outcomes for children and adults alike. However, despite the fact that marriage is a h
Read more

HOW TO WRITE AN EXCELLENT RESEARCH PAPER: STEP-BY-STEP GUIDELINE

Image
A research paper is a comprehensive academic essay that students are required to submit before the end of each semester. This assignment is an amalgamation of the student’s total learning and attempts to test their understanding of an academic course from all possible angles. It is designed to test one’s ability to research, collect information, write, compile, analyze and interpret a topic. No matter what field of study you are in, you will mostly like be asked to write a research paper during your academic career. It is an integral component of your academic evaluation; which will definitely require you to do some kind of research for one subject or another. Unfortunately, the knowledge of research writing has slipped into oblivion for many students. They show excessive consternation whenever they are given assignments, and consider it a burden and a tiresome task because it requires a significant amount of time, effort and organization. On account of all above, this book is compi
Read more

WHY DOES ISLAM COMMAND KILLING OF INNOCENT PEOPLE?

Image
MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT ISLAM (Episode 2): WHY DOES ISLAM COMMAND KILLING OF INNOCENT PEOPLE? By Yusuff Ademola Adesina It saddens my heart to hear my religion- the religion of the whole mankind, Islam- being ostracized in various forms by people around me. Last week, a full bearded man sporting a jumper trouser jumped a queue at the bank I was at, then a misinformed lady beside me commented, “hmmm. all the ‘mallam’. They are Muslims. If you dare correct them for jumping queues, they will massacre you!” Upon hearing this, I was heatedly ruminating about several questions running through my mind ready to pour out. However, not to be a vested party, I want us to continue addressing the issues surrounding misconceptions about Islam, the social stereotype etc. By the way, it should be borne in mind at this junction that not all ‘muslims’ are Muslims . We have factors such as culture, personality, social definition and so on, having great bearing on the type of Muslim they are, be it
Read more

5 Simple Ways to Become Productive and Successful

Image
by Yusuff Ademola A. Virtually everyone is most concerned about success. However, not everyone can succeed except those who know the secrets behind success! The ponderous contributor to success is nothing but PRODUCTIVITY. This is the reason numerous writers and readers are obsessed with the topic ‘Productivity’.   In this digital age, staying on task and avoiding distraction have become harder to accomplish. Therefore, it is essential that you get a guide towards achieving productivity in your everyday tasks. Here are 5 simple ways to become more productive and successful: 1.       Focus on yourself in the morning : Many people begin their day by checking their emails and other social accounts. Be careful of this, perhaps it is a big productivity killer. Start your day with spiritually productive activities – if you are a Muslim, observe the Fajr Prayer and recite the morning Sunnah adhkaar; these are true stress relievers and energy boosters which never fail to make you feel b
Read more

THE CHARACTERISTICS OF A CLASSICAL, STRIVING MUSLIM

Image
by Yusuff Ademola Adesina In the present century wherein the world morality has turned on its head, the characteristics of a true Muslim as defined in the orthodox teachings of his religion (Islam) can be likened to an oasis in the desert. It is the only place where trees grow in the desert and the sight of which gives a sense of pleasure and an air of inviting hospitality to the desert travelers. The character of a striving Muslim is distinct and balanced, because he is the embodiment of the illustrious guidance of Allah, drinking deeply from its pure spring and following the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (SAW). Hence, it is no surprise that a Muslim is expected to be an epitome of all good character as the Prophet (SAW) said he was sent to perfect noble character traits. However, many Muslims are negligent of the ‘Muslim Personality’ as Islam has wisely deemed it to be. Sadly, there exists a lacuna between what Islam wants for its followers and what they actually want
Read more