BUILDING SELF-CONFIDENCE

Authored by Yusuff Ademola

INTRODUCTION

Self-confidence is all about believing in yourself, which comes as a result of self-acceptance. Hence, self acceptance is the first step in building self-confidence. When you peacefully and full-heartedly accept yourself with all imperfections, then self-confidence begins to build.

When we talk about self-acceptance as the first step in building self-confidence, it encompasses many attributes – such as having compassion and mercy for oneself, accepting who one is, loving and valuing oneself, having high self-esteem, respecting oneself, having belief in God, and putting trust in Him.

This article aims to give concise discussion on emotional intelligence, positive thinking, positive self-talk and attaining of peaceful mind as means of building self-confidence.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

The meaning of emotional intelligence can be summed as the ability to motivate oneself, perceive and express emotion, understand and reason with emotion and regulate emotion of oneself and even, of others.

Being self-confident allows one to control one’s emotion and focus positively on them. Emotional intelligence helps one in regulating moods and emotion which is necessary for being productive, successful and confident.

Whilst the presence of emotional intelligence helps in achieving the aforementioned benefits, lacking it can lead to stress, depression and some other psychological problems. Thus, being emotional intelligent is one of the steps needed to build self-confidence. It worth noting that emotional intelligence encompasses self-competency, self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management.

Hence, there is need for having deep understanding of emotion  and its regulation, ability to control one’s internal state and the ability to understand other people’s needs – and showing empathy for achieving self-confidence.

POSITIVE THINKING

Positive thinking is a very strong attitude that gives one the power to be confident and achieve one’s goals. Positive thinking includes hope which offers tranquillity and generates peace of mind. Having hope motivates and reassures one so that one does not fall in grief or depression during difficult times.

Positive thinking also encompasses motivation which produces an attitude of passion and this passion drives one’s efforts in accomplishing one’s aims. However, negative thinking – the opposite of positive thinking – will not take one to the right path. Having negative thinking makes one losses hope and motivation, and consequently leads to falling into depression.


Thus, having positive thinking is another means in building self-confidence.

POSITIVE SELF-TALK

Though, positive reinforcement – reward – that comes from external sources might be frabjous, but there is need for positive inner talk. Hence, having positive self-talk is perhaps, the implementation of positive thinking.

Positive self-talk is all about speaking positively to yourself, that you are fantastic and you deserve marvellous things; that you are gifted and you can accomplish your aims. However, it is natural that you might have inner/self-critic. There is therefore need for refuting this critic. Otherwise, it fills your mind with low self-esteem, and consequently affects your opportunity of being productive and successful.

To overcome negative inner suggestion from an Islamic view, Allaah – God, the Creator of the universe – informs us in the Qur’aan:

“And if there comes to you from Satan an evil suggestion, then seek refuge in Allah. Indeed, He is the Hearing, the Knowing.” (Q41:36, Sahih International Translation)

ATTAINING PEACEFUL MIND: AN ISLAMIC VIEW

Having a peaceful mind is, in fact, another requirement for building self-confidence. To be self-confident, your mind needs to be at ease and your heart must know peace and serenity. Having these characteristics will lead to inner strength which is needed for building self-confidence.

Bringing peace and serenity to your heart and mind needs constant Dhikr – remembrance of Allaah – at all times, for He says:

“Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah. Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured.” (Q13:28)

In addendum, bringing peace to your heart and mind needs having correct Islamic belief – monotheism – in Allaah and putting ultimate trust in Him. Allaah says in the Qur’aan:

“And whoever turns away from My remembrance – indeed, he will have a depressed life and We will gather him on the Day of Resurrection blind.” (Q20:124)

“...And whoever fears Allah – He will make for him a way out. And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for Him...” (Q65:2-3) 

On account of this, struggle to do your best. Fear Allaah alone and put trust in Him. Believe that whatever He gives you is actually the best, for He is the all-Knowing. He says:

“...But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows, while you know not.” (Q2:216)

In conclusion, be positive minded, adorn your heart and mind with the fear of Allaah, never loss hope in His mercy and blessing, and seek His forgiveness whenever you err. Indeed, He forgives all sins.

“Say, ‘O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do NOT despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.” (Q39:53)

Authored by Yusuff Ademola Adesina

“Perfection belongs to Allah alone; I acknowledge any mistake or error in this article as mine.”

Yusuff Ademola Adesina is a final year student of Islamic Psychology and a developing Muslim writer. He is the founder of the Mind Builders and a writer for both Aspiring Counsellors Club and the Mind Builders. He can be reached directly on adesinayusuffademola@gmail.com